On Misery

I've decided that I agree with Jordan Peterson.

No, not that socialism is bad and inevitably leads to totalitarian regimes that commit mass murder and other atrocities. I think that's deeper than a system of government and is rooted in billions of years of human evolution. See Rome transforming from republic to the rule of Caesars, or the German republic of the early 1930's. Additionally. most of what American's are arguing for is not socialism, per se, but what the right brands as socialism to scare us out of the idea that, to use a football metaphor, we can beat the hell out of each other on the field of play and still make sure there are medical professionals there to help our opponents off the field, and that we should all be playing by roughly the same rules.

No - I agree with him that live is suffering, and you're not going fix that. If you find a moment of happiness, GREAT! Soak it up. You're a lucky, lucky bastard.

For the most part, though, you're not going to be happy. I think we're programmed to be unhappy, and no matter how good things get, to always be looking for something better.

(This serves an obvious evolutionary purpose that I can explain in comments on the off chance that anyone is interested. )

What we need to do is find a way to make our lives have enough purpose to justify the misery.

The real misery of my life is not in the details of my life. The details of my life are amazing. It's in the lack of purpose or feeling like I serve any function more useful than to make money for someone else.

I've found purpose over the years working with young people, but I always allow myself to start to feel overwhelmed and pull back. At 51 years of age, I suppose I should accept that as my nature and just ride that cycle.

So, recently (well, within the last couple years at any rate) I got overwhelmed and pulled back. Now I'm feeling the pointlessness of my existence. Guess it's time to find some meaning again.

Keeping our heads above water in the time of Covid-19

Inspired by a post from Grant Fritchey.

I used to have Eagle Vision. I was tested at 30/20, which means I could see at 30 feet what most people could see at 20.
I remember going to the eye doctor, deeply concerned about my vision. "Doc, I feel like I'm going blind. I can't see anything anymore".
The eye doctor very sweetly replied, "You're down to 20/20 in one eye. You're still 30/20 in the other. In one eye, you see like a normal person now. You'll live."

I made it past 40 before needing reading glasses, and then just-like-that, *BAM!* ... bifocals ...  (#OLDGuysWithComputerEyes)

I'm not gonna lie - I spent some time mourning my Eagle Vision. To this day, I genuinely miss being able to see teeny tiny print that nobody else can see, or being able to make out fine details or something in the distance that those around me can't make out.

Mostly, though, I genuinely miss getting through my day without having to fiddle with glasses. I'm too dingy to keep track of them. I lose them on top of my head, and they're always missing when I have somewhere important to go and I'm not allowed to drive without them. :-/

Right. So, I have an obvious choice to make.

I can whine and cry and lament how, to quote Toby Keith, "I'm not as good as I once was."

- OR -

I can take a deep breath and let it out slowly, thanking God for the clever people who developed the wonderful technology ( glasses ) that my excellent job pays for to correct my vision so that I can see things that my ancestors and so many in the world today would not be able to see at my age and with eyes in my condition.

So, get to the point. Glass half full, right? 

Not really. I'm not normal. You're sweet to laugh, but I mean it. I'm contrary and defective in a lot of mildly interesting ways.

For instance:
During quarantine, I find I'm living my best life. I don't have to go to the things and suffer the social anxiety and gut out the endless, huge gatherings. I have all of my children back under my roof. We're not spending all of our money running to this and that, so my bank account runneth over, which is REALLY weird.

How can that be?
Well, because of my spiritual practice, I've made peace with some things that I don't think most people do.
I've made peace with impermanence.
I've made peace with that fact that I'm going to grow old, get sick, and die.
I've made peace with the fact that, not only will this happen to me, but to those I love.

Don't get me wrong. Understanding the way pain works doesn't make pain less painful.
But it does allow us to create distance between us and the reality of it, and it does allow us to surrender our anxiety over the pain that's coming and replace it with acceptance.

For you, right now, life is what it is for me during more normal days. It's a game played in the mind.

Like so many things in life (having a clean house or car, being organized, maintaining a healthy weight, etc), I've found that mental health takes time and effort, but it's *generally* not rocket science.  (Please understand that this is not true for everyone. I think for most of us, though, it holds up.)

Make time to breathe deeply. Fear is a produce of our reptilian core, and the pathways from our high mind don't really reach down there. Our breath connects our mind to our bodies to our deeper mind.
Make time to focus on things that make you happy.
Make time to remind yourself that most of the negative things don't matter. That's hard right now, because so many of the negative things REALLY DO matter. But they are nonetheless beyond our control.

Which leads me to the next point...

If at all possible, make peace with the fact that it is our nature to grow old, to get sick, and to pass away. This is hard. Having done it, though, I can attest that life is much better on the other side of that effort.

And, finally, make time to be thankful.

So, I'll go first.

Thank you, little glasses, for allowing me to see this ridiculous long thing I just typed.
Thank you, ridiculous job, for creating structure in my life and providing me with good pay and benefits.
Thank you, body, for holding up so well against 46 years of profound abuse. (to be clear, that's me, abusing it with sugar, loud music, etc.)

All law springs from the 10 commandments?

1 - I am the Lord thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

Our law - we have enshrined the opposite of this (ie - religious freedom) in our constitution. https://www.law.cornell.edu/constitution/first_amendment

 

2 - Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image.

Our law - Umm - I don't thing we have much of anything that addresses "graven images"

 

3 - Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord they God in vain.

Our law -Again, we have enshrined the opposite of this in our constitution in the form of freedom of expression

 

4 - Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.

Our law - get to work, there's money to be made.

5 - Honour they father and they mother

Our law - I'm unaware of any laws dealing with this. I suppose it could be argued that elder abuse laws take this into account? I really don't think so, though.

 

6 - Thou shalt not murder.

I don't mean to sound snippy, but you think we could figure that out without Moses going up the mountain to be told?

7 - Thou shalt not commit adultery

To the best of my knowledge, we have no laws that even approach enforcing this.

8 - Thou shalt not steal

See my response to #6.

9 - Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor

We love this one so much that we made lying a political pass-time. We have laws against slander, I suppose, though, so I'll give you that one.

10 - Thou shalt not covet they neighbors house, wife, slaves, animals, or anything else.

According to our laws, someone could literally seduce my wife, leading to my divorce and thereby scarring me, my children, and ruining me financially, and the only one going to jail is me when I punch him in the throat.