Sunday, July 16, 2017

Forgiveness

I see many people struggling to forgive an move on.
This, for me, has been the key to forgiving.  It's not easy, and it's not quick.  It's a process.  Your mileage may vary:

Various religions and approaches are not the point.
The point is to spend time in quiet, without effort.
Observe the thoughts that arise on their own (not the hey, my back itches, but the he's incompetent and taking me down, or she really hurt me, or even the fears and fantasies ) and then work to understand those thoughts. 

Those thoughts are YOU.

You won't like what you see, because you're not nearly as good as you imagine.  You've got power issues.  You've got control issues.  You don't follow the standards of purity and love and kindness that you expect of others. 

It's important to place no value judgements - you'll never get through it if you view it as good or bad, for now, it simply IS.

So, how does this help with forgiveness?
In time, you'll come to see yourself for what you really are, in the brutal, honest light of reality, rather than what you want to be, or colored by delusions, intentions, and preconceptions.

Seeing yourself clearly in this way will allow you to see other people for what they are rather than what you want them to be, or think they should be.

When you see others clearly, forgiving them becomes at first easy, and ultimately unnecessary.  They simply ARE.  People are neither fundamentally good, nor fundamentally bad; people are fundamentally people, driven by impulses both benevolent and selfish, using gifts and overcoming challenges, and trying to get through their day.